マイケル・マラーキーさんのインスタグラム写真 - (マイケル・マラーキーInstagram)「If I could turn back time I’d do it all over again with what I know now. I’ve been a poor excuse for a partner in the past, not knowing how to really be there for someone, taking their love for granted, chasing dragons. I always did the best I knew how with the minimal and outdated generational tools that were bequeathed to me, but in retrospect I was always putting myself first and unable to allow another to weave themselves lovingly into my life - and I into hers - without feeling like my autonomy was under threat. ”Love” doesn’t come for free after all; it takes hard work and countless days of fucking it up, saying and doing the wrong things, avoiding difficult conversations, countless nights of looking in the mirror with confusion and often self-loathing. It’s taken a long time to surrender to the journey of all this, to be vulnerable and learn to forgive (the other and the self), instead of dancing around the seductive fires of egoism and eventually self-destruction. We must humble ourselves time and again to remember that our truth and our suffering is our responsibility to unpack and absolve. It can be shared to a degree - for from earth we come and to earth we must go - but we have to own it while we are still here. Only then do we have the capacity for change and to heal our generational trauma. Only then can we stand in our power and hold space to let someone else in. Sometimes I get it right, sometimes I really fucking don’t. There’s always further to go, more work to do, layers to peel back to uncover those hidden glowing things underneath that haunt us. Once we get in there, we can see that they’re often just parts of us that we left behind. Like abandoned rooms in a crumbling mansion howling to be renovated and inhabited, with flesh and blood, instead of haunted by ghosts and keening shadows. It’s been a long road to learn the language and songs of these shadows. I’m still in it of course. Still a humble student. Probably will be forever. So the only way is to carry on. With love and grace. Some kind of mottled light guiding us. (Cont. in comments…)」6月7日 0時07分