イリザ・シュレシンガーのインスタグラム(ilizas) - 11月8日 02時47分

I'm so fair skinned that any drop of sunlight and I turn dayglow in pictures. Never mind my blinding beauty, I finally got my @sheetz !!! I got a soy cappuccino with toasted marshmallow and then? Spent the additional 30¢ to get EXTRA toasted marshmallow! You gotta go double shot of flavor you guys, otherwise you're just left standing there with your dick in your hand and only traces of the flavor you thought you once ordered. Double down on the flavor, it's imperative. "Single shot of vanilla" why bother, amateurs. May as well just ask for a sniff of the syrup and take that olfactory memory with you instead of actually drinking it. Talking double shot = Maximum flavor. Did you come to play or what? Side note? I also realize that usage of the phrase "dick in your hand" will probably disqualify me from a retweet from Sheetz but I'm here for the art, not the validation. Well I sort of am, but still, ars gratis artis! WHY DOES LA NOT HAVE A SHEETZ? Oh that's right we have to make room for one more fucking artisanal hand pressed Kickstarter funded coffee closet and lord knows we need just one more $15 a pop cold pressed juiced/loan center. Never mind adding fun flavor to your inherently bitter drink, some fuckstick in a turn of the century apron with an at-home-earned art degree is at the ready to make you feel like a piece of trash for asking for any flavor because he would never deign to add anything other than condescension to your French pressed cup of misery. For a $3 up charge he'll strain your coffee through his ear gauges. Oh there is also granola with bits of (hold in your vomit) raw dark chocolate in case you wanted to completely assault your palate with the flavors of the 1750s. Also... BEBO!

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