マット・マクゴリーのインスタグラム(mattmcgorry) - 1月28日 04時08分

Should be required reading for men @jessicavalenti "Pretending these offenses roll off of our backs is strategic - don't give them the fucking satisfaction - but it isn't the truth. You lose something along the way. Mocking the men who hurt us - as mockable as they are - starts to feel like acquiescing to the most condescending of catcalls, You look better when you smile. Because even subversive sarcasm adds a cool-girl non-chalance, an updated, sharper version of the expectation that women be forever pleasant, even as we're eating shit.

This sort of posturing is a performance that requires strength I do not have anymore. Rolling with the punches and giving as good as we're getting requires that we subsume our pain under a veneer of I don't give a shit. This inability to be vulnerable - the unwillingness to be victims, even if we are - doesn't protect us, it just covers up the wreckage.
But no one wants to listen to our sad stories unless they are smoothed over with a joke or nice melody. And even then, not always. No one wants to hear a woman talking or writing about pain in a way that suggests it doesn't end. Without a pat solution, silver lining, or happy ending we're just complainers - downers who don't realize how good we actually have it.
Men's pain and existential angst are the stuff of myth and legends and narratives that shape everything we do, but women's pain is a backdrop - a plot development to push the story along for the real protagonists. Disrupting that story means we're needy or selfish, or worst of all, man-haters - as if after all men have done to women over the ages the mere act of not liking them for it is most offensive... Somewhere along the way, I started to care more about what men thought of me than my own health and happiness because doing so was just easier. I bought into the lie that the opposite of "victim" is "strong." That pointing and laughing and making it easier on everybody was the best way to tell our stories.
But if you are sick and want to be well, you need to relay the details of your symptoms: glossing over them ensures a lifetime of illness." #McGReads

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