エリー・ゴンサルヴェスのインスタグラム(ellie_gonsalves) - 4月24日 01時02分

Two years ago today my Dad took his life.

I share bits and pieces about us but it's still & always will be such a sensitive topic for me.

I've never really shared the details of what happened & I still don't feel ready to share more than this just yet. But I did want to share this today in the hope that it might help someone who might be going/gone through something similar.

My Dad was one of the most loving, caring & coolest people I've ever known. I'm eternally grateful that I got to share 20+ yrs with him before our time came to an end, I'm so lucky that I had those years & got to experience life with him in it.

Unfortunately though, he was broken, he was worn out. Add the continual heartbreaking things being done to him & we end up where he was two years ago. It makes me so sad to think that he felt that was his only option. 
Life can sometimes take its toll on us & can effect even the strongest of people who try to battle & balance their happiness with their unhappiness. Mostly in silence.
If anyone out there is falling on hard times -- please speak to someone, please don't close yourself off & remember, you have the strength to change your situation, day by day, step by step, piece by piece.
Change doesn't & generally can't happen over night, it's a journey & if you're struggling, I want to invite you on that journey. Because YOU are worth that journey.. If you're going through what I went through, or worse, something similar to what my Dad felt he needed to do, remember that it's ok not to feel strong all the time, it's ok to breakdown & it's normal to think of all kind of crazy things. 
Whatever you're feeling, talk about it, let it out & let it go Elsa! Don't turn to alcohol or drugs to mask the pain, deal with it head on & in a way that helps you feel better long term. Not just the quick fixes. 
We don't have to be OK with things by any date or ever in some cases. Learn to just BE, breathe & take time to find yourself & your emotions. 
I miss my Dad but now I have the most badass MFker with a big fat Cohiba in hand watching over me. Dad, you helped make me the woman I am today, I'll always be grateful for that. Adios muchachos BTC ❤️

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