ジ・オニオンのインスタグラム(theonion) - 5月12日 05時27分

Confirming their findings were consistent across all observed locations and at all times of day, a report released Thursday by researchers at the University of Pennsylvania found that 15 percent of cars in mall parking lots are occupied by family members who stormed out to the vehicles following a heated argument. “According to our data, roughly one in seven automobiles in shopping mall parking garages contain an individual attempting to get away from their insensitive, overly critical, indecisive, or slow-paced family members in the wake of a screaming match that, in many cases, had been brewing all day before coming to a head in the linen section of a department store or the Forever 21 dressing rooms,” read the report, which noted that 4 percent of motor vehicles in mall parking areas contain a father angrily sitting at the wheel listening to a classic rock radio station after a dispute with his wife in Sur La Table while trying to decide on a birthday gift for his mother-in-law. #TheOnion

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