Jazzy Cooper Fostersのインスタグラム(bordernerd) - 3月5日 00時13分
Last night, my husband and I were playing some games, sipping on our favorite Riesling, and listening to the classical music. When the radio started playing Claude Debussy, I asked him to skip to the next song. "Why?" He asked. "That's a sad song for me." I replied. "What does this make you think of?" "The days Jazzy was sick.” He paused for a moment and suggested "Why don't you try to listen to it for a bit?" I sighed but agreed to his idea. He was quiet for a second and said "This song makes me think of the day we were all outside sorting out coins. Jazzy was on her bed, enjoying the sun and the breeze in front of us." "Oh yeah...and we were drinking the same wine that day..." I smiled and thought about her happy face in the sun. "Yes, It was a good day." .
While I took care of Jazzy on her final days, I listened to the classical music throughout the day to keep it together. It helped then, but after her passing, it created such a painful association within me. I avoided listening to some of the songs for a long time. .
I started crying as I listened to the song. "I'm sorry, it still affects me." I tried to force a smile as I wiped my tears, and I saw my husband getting a little emotional too. I said "I'm glad you were there for us. I don't know how I would have gotten through it on my own.” It is a blessing to be able to live your life with someone who understands you, through best and the worst times. The song was nearly at the end. "It's cathartic..." Instead of avoiding the fear (fear of feeling the pain again by listening to the song) I faced it with my husband. And by facing it, I was able to open up the "box" of good memories that was buried underneath. I want to focus on our happy days. She had 13 years of AMAZING life with me, us--full of adventure and pure love. That's how I want to remember her. #MeanwhileinHeaven #lovecontinues
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