アリシア・ウィットのインスタグラム(aliciawitty) - 9月2日 13時49分

i had to share this 😥❤️ from @silvykhoucasian: Some of the warmest and most caring people on the planet are anxiously attached. They are often deeply sensitive, and intuitive, and caring of the feelings of others. They also have a deep-rooted fear of being abandoned as their caregivers showed up so inconsistently for them growing up. Accept that this fear will probably (never) make sense to you.
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They will occasionally “act out” when they are threatened.
Make sure to lovingly set limits with them if they do (without) shaming them.
Redirect the focus on what is actually happening for (them) when they project on you.
“I know you think something’s off for me. But I’m feeling fine. Is there something going on for you?”
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Create connection rituals to have consistency and routine to counteract the (inconsistently) they grew up with. That can be anything from calling each other first thing in the morning .. to sharing a long, meaningful embrace before starting the day.
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Those that are anxiously attached tend to pick up on subtle cues of disconnection - as they constantly fear love is being taken away. This is probably extremely (frustrating) for you if you are with someone who is anxiously attached. Feeling your partner cling to you can feel suffocating. But (please) know that their fear, and their clinging, is (rarely ever) about you. As they finally (depend) on someone they love, painful memories from their childhood comes to surface.
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Small triggers, little reminders of being left, is what will bring up their clinging. Try to breathe through these moments. Remind yourself that this is not about you, but actually a window showing you a very large pain that your partner lives with. With some positive reassurance from you, they will soon be able to regulate and feel safe again.
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If your partner is on the extreme end of anxious attachment .. it’s okay to get outside support.
It’s okay to encourage your partner to have other resources and support to rely on (alongside) of you.
What’s not okay is to shame or invalidate your partner for their fears.Embracing and loving them for who they are (while) you simultaneously model healthy secure behaviors is where the gold is.

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