ジュリアン・ハフのインスタグラム(juleshough) - 9月19日 09時04分
When I started doing music 10 years ago, I was a performer by nature. I wanted to be on stage, I wanted to sing, I wanted to dance - I wanted to pour my heart out. And I did it, but there was always a piece that felt inauthentic, because I was just PUSHING to get people to LIKE and ACCEPT me. At one point I actually just gave up on my music because I found myself constantly comparing myself to other artists. Being the competitor I was, if I wasn’t winning, I was losing. If you/I looked at the reality of what was happening, I was absolutely crushing it. But that was that. I made the call and let music fall to the side - and in doing so, I abandoned the artist in me and went further and further into the performer.
About two years ago something shifted. By doing the internal work that needed doing, I found myself (unintentionally!) connecting back to my artist. Just by simply owning all the “ugly” parts of my life. The second I started going into that black hole of what it all represented and really unpacking all of the survival tactics of protection - of not feeling hurt, or like a failure, or like a fraud, I finally got to feel what it truly felt like to be RAW and vulnerable and to see all of these parts for the first time with no judgement.
For two years I have been picking those pieces up, nurturing them - and transforming them. I’m not trying to change who I am or suppress those parts of me anymore - but instead, I acknowledge them, take them and TRANSFORM them. As I was doing that in my daily life, I realized all of a sudden that my creativity, my life blood, the entire essence of WHO I AM was coming ALIVE.
This is the first time I truly feel like an artist and not a performer simply because everything I’m saying is TRUTH - and I’m not afraid anymore if everyone will like it because it’s just, ME!! it makes me smile
it makes me feel alive
I actually feel ALIVE.
I’m so excited to share this part of me with all of you, this is gonna be so much fun - and it’s just the beginning!
Only love and truth,
Julianne
#TRANSFORM
photography @brianbowensmith
creative direction @hello_gambles
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