Andrew Knappのインスタグラム(andrewknapp) - 11月16日 05時11分

I often find myself teetering between “this is amazing I love this” and “this is bullshit what’s the point”. Not about anything in particular, but about most things. The truth is, whichever side I give energy to is the one that will thrive. But this isn’t about choosing one side or another, it’s about admitting to both and watching them be. Ram Dass says “When you witness a dark thought … you witness it, and love it … the witness is part of the soul, and the soul loves everything.” Easy!⁣
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Most dark thoughts are the voice of my damn ego. What I want and don’t have. What I don’t have compared to someone else. What I think people don’t like about me. The small stuff that pretends to be big, like Dwight Schrute in a sumo costume. But there’s something deeper and truer that’s eternally within us. It’s that quiet constant inner voice. That voice says “this is amazing, I love this”. It’s pure wonder, it’s amazement, it’s love. The best part is, we don’t even have to teach ourselves how to use it. We only need to learn the difference between it and our ego. That’s where it gets tricky. The ego is a master of disguise, and is really good at playing the part of this truth.⁣
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When you ask yourself what you want, you may hear two answers. A loud one that says you want to run away, you want a nice home, a nice car, a lover, a cushy bank account, a slew of beers or toys or games. The other says you want to accept, to love, simply to witness.⁣
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I’m still figuring this stuff out, I’ll always be. I’ve been writing and re-writing this message for months, actually. I’ve been tongue tied, blocked. I must have two dozen drafts that make me want to bury my head in the sand and never speak again. But that’s the ego afraid of being wrong, or judged. I think this message is one of truth, and I want to be closer to that. #mօmomeditations

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