アラナ・ニコルズさんのインスタグラム動画 - (アラナ・ニコルズInstagram)「I had to ski to stay alive, to stay sober, to keep my head above water...it wasn’t about winning. . My brother had a hard life and it never got any easier and in June of 2009 he was murdered in Denver, CO where I was living and training for the 2010 Vancouver Paralympics. Everything was going great and then suddenly, like a freight train through my heart, he was taken from us and a giant gaping hole was left in our lives that would never be filled with his presence again. . The grief was unbearable at times that winter. My heart was not just a broken heart... it was an open wound gushing blood in the form of tears rolling down my face at sporadic times through out the day....I just had to keep skiing. . Finally, as the Vancouver Games opened and it was time for me to focus I thought my grief was contained until moments before I pushed out of the start gate to ski for the gold. Nope. I started uncontrollably crying at THE MOST inconvenient time. The start gate seconds beeping down and all I could do was pray to my Brother and ask him to do this for me. . I don’t remember a second of that race but when I got to the bottom and looked up through the rain at MY NAME on the top of the big screen, I knew he was there. And I lost it even more... . It was nothing short of a spiritual experience with my brother... those tears and the rain... I wasn’t the only one crying that day. He missed me too. . . Today is the 10 year anniversary of that medal. The medal that means more to me than any of the others because it is a symbol of our sibling love and proof of my brothers continued presence in my life. My family and I will never be able to share those big moments with him in the flesh but THANK YOU GOD that you and our loved ones never really leave us, they our front row and center in the grand stands of our lives, cheering us on! That one was for you Brother, I still miss you just as much 10 years later. . And Lord, would you have loved this little boy Gunnar. He’s got your eyes and definitely your silliness and free, fun loving spirit. . It’s no coincidence it’s dumping rain here in San Diego today, I see you Bro❤️ @jovan505 @julianne505 #25 #love #broth」3月13日 8時20分