サマンサウィルスさんのインスタグラム写真 - (サマンサウィルスInstagram)「Marigold (Goldie), Primrose (Rosie), Romeo (Romy) for girls, and for boys names, I only have one; Wills.⠀⠀ Feel free to use any of them.⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ I’m 39 and I (still) don’t know if I want to have kids. Seems like something you should/would know at 39, but, alas, I don’t.⠀ ⠀ To all my best mates kids I am the cool, creative aunt (self rated). And fuck, I love being their aunty. I don’t say ‘fuck’ out loud when I’m in front of them of course (I say it under my breath so they can’t hear). ⠀ ⠀ I might wake up tomorrow, next month or next year and want to have kids, I might not. I don’t know just now.⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ The second, and more significantly—out-of-my-hands element—is that I have no idea if I can actually have kids. ⠀ ⠀ I spent the better part of two decades plying my body with hormones to tell it in no uncertain terms to not be pregnant. Then when I stopped those, my body told me in no uncertain terms that underneath all the hormones I had been feeding her that there was a big fucking issue, (stage 4 endo with orange sized fibroids) that the hormones (the pill) kept at at bay.⠀ ⠀ So, I had surgery for that and have now spent the last year again plying it with more hormones (Mirena) to manage the very symptoms that linger with such a diagnosis and operation. ⠀ ⠀ Then the past few weeks have looked a lot like this. Syringes filled with MORE hormones--to freeze eggs--in a bid to have options to both of the above things I don’t, right now, know the answer to. ⠀ ⠀ But here we are. (That’s an ice pack in my hand, not a bible.)⠀ ⠀ So, just a little post for no other reason other than to try to continue to normalize conversation around the very real topics of women and womens health, about providing ourselves options (where we can) for either/or personal and health reasons. A post to (hopefully) just remind anyone who may need to read it right now that the whole ‘what you’re meant to do’ or ‘how it was meant to look’ is no one else’s narrative but your own. ⠀ ⠀ Poached, scrambled, fried, fertilized, frozen …. whichever way you prefer yours right now – its entirely up to you.⠀ ⠀ With all my love x⠀⠀」12月17日 19時23分