レイチェル・ブレイセンさんのインスタグラム写真 - (レイチェル・ブレイセンInstagram)「I tried to explain what asthma is like to Dennis today but just couldn’t do it. “It’s impossible to focus on anything else when you have to fight to get air into your lungs” was as far as I got. When asthma takes over everything else becomes a little bit blurry. I’ve had chronic asthma since I was 4 but decided to drop the “chronic” a few years ago. I didn’t want to impose a definite onto a condition that I know is constantly changing and comes and goes depending on much more than just my airways. When I was little I was in and out of the hospital like crazy. Night-time trips to the ER were common and I always felt like I had to walk on eggshells around my own body. Don’t run too fast, you might get an asthma attack. Don’t pet that dog, you might get an asthma attack. Don’t eat nuts/carrots/apple/insert one of gazillion foods I was allergic to, you might get asthma. Looking back at it, I don’t think I could ever truly trust my body. With severe asthma triggered by everything from smoke to pollen to allergens to exertion, my body felt like a bomb that could go off at anytime. Except instead of an explosion, what I’d get were tightened airways to the point of almost blacking out. My dad and sister have it and “it’s genetic” was something I used to refer to a lot. “It’s genetic” became synonymous with “it’s out of my control”. And that final word - chronic - added a hopeless touch to an already very scary thing to live with. Since changing my life, finding yoga, starting a daily meditation practice, becoming plant-based and heading down a healthier path asthma moved from being the driver of the car (I’d literally never leave my house without an inhaler and paced myself constantly; always thinking of what i could and couldn’t do in terms of having a potential flare up) to sitting in the backseat. Today, I don’t use my inhaler often, but I bring it when I travel. I don’t worry about asthma attacks. I cuddle animals and eat nuts do live very differently from when I was a kid. But - it’s still there. It’s still there. Here. And in spite of all my healing tools and practices and self-care and growth... I feel just as scared at 32 as I did when I was 4💔」2月16日 5時37分