ビリー・ラードのインスタグラム(praisethelourd) - 12月28日 05時15分

💞🛀💕The ✨Take your broken heart and turn it into art bathtub series✨goes down down unda! It has been 5 years since my Momby died (I don’t like to say lost - it makes it sound like I could find her like I find my car in a parking lot when I don’t remember where I parked it - I always find my car - I can’t find my Mom). On days like this I like to be with people I love (big shout out to these literal and vocal angels @ケイトリン・ディーヴァー and @madydever ❤️I love you both more than any Instagram words could ever express) and to do something we loved to do together. We loved to sing. We loved Fleetwood Mac. We loved this song. It echoed in our living room throughout my childhood, playing slightly too loudly as she scribbled her marvelous manic musings on yellow legal pads (google them if you don’t know them - they’re the iPads of the past and are still pretty damn hip if you ask me).

I’m working away from home right now and one night when I was having a particularly grief-y moment this song came on and the lyrics spoke (well actually sang) to me more than they ever had before. “Well I’ve been afraid of changing cause I built my life around you. But time makes you bolder.” I didn’t know who to be or what to do after my mom died. I was afraid of changing because I had built my life around her. Then she was gone. And I had to rebuild my life without her. And it wasn’t (and still isn’t) easy. But time has made me bolder. I never stop missing her but I have gotten stronger with each passing year. And if you’re going through something similar time will make you bolder too. Sorry for this cheesy lyric analysis. But it’s true!!! Sending all my strength to anyone in the #griefgang who needs it.

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