ヴィンセント・ゾウさんのインスタグラム写真 - (ヴィンセント・ゾウInstagram)「1 year ago, today. 2022 Winter Olympics. Night before the men’s individual event. I was going through my competition pressure management routine, performing visualizations and preparing for what I anticipated to be my life’s defining moments. I was sitting on my bed, deep in visualization, when the US Olympic Committee called to inform me of my positive COVID test. There was shock, first and foremost, but also this overwhelming cognitive dissonance, where in my head I was supposed to be doing my final preparations the night before competition but for some reason my body was operating independently, packing suitcases and being sent off in an ambulance to the quarantine facility like a discarded box to a landfill. You know when something so bad happens that you shut down and enter a detached, robotic state because you have no previously developed heuristic for how to function in such a scenario? That’s what I felt like. I had to keep snapping myself back to the reality in front of my eyes, because every time I closed them it was to do my visualizations back in my room in the Olympic village. I tried to film myself vocalizing my thoughts to force myself to process. I ended up sitting in front of the camera for over two hours because every time I opened my mouth, all that came out was broken sounds. The post I ended up making was my seventeenth attempt. There was an outpouring of love and support from my family, friends, team, and hundreds of thousands of internet strangers, but at no fault of theirs I still felt utterly alone. This is just an excerpt from a story I’m working on about my journey through and beyond the Olympics. Today, when I look back, I feel the dull ache of healing as well as the sharp sting of unclosed wounds. I also feel the part of me that was ripped away partially refilled with substance because I filled the dark time that followed with meaning and purpose, from fighting towards my second world medal to going on tour with my Olympic teammates and making lifelong memories. I’m grateful for all the adversity I faced and conquered, no matter how difficult or painful, for without it I would not be the person I am today.」2月8日 11時20分