ニーナ・メルセデスのインスタグラム(lifewithmariza) - 5月15日 03時32分

Dear Mom,

Not a day goes by that I don't think about you and miss you. There was a lot of wasted time between us. Wasted on being angry, you wanted me to be different I wanted you to be different. There was love between us but it was a strained relationship both of us trying too hard at what should come natural. Looking back now I wish I could have spent less time trying to change you and make you "better" and more time just tying to understand and be okay with your decisions. One more hug, one more kiss just a minute to tell you that more than anything I loved you and I'm sorry. ❤️
_
As a very small child I remember me and my sister sitting on the bed crying to my mom to please stop doing drugs. I had to have been around 6 and I remember feeling so scared I was going to lose her. As a child I became angry with her because it was easy to distance yourself from someone you love who you may leave one day with anger. Not realizing it, as I got older my anger grew but the anger was a defense I put up so I wouldn't be hurt if I did lose her. I lost so much time trying to build this crazy wall between us and in the end when she passed it hurt just as bad. It's a pain that is unlike any other, you lose part of yourself when your parent passes. I realized all that time I spent angry I could have just loved her and I could have tried to understand her.
I was arguing with my mom and not speaking to her at the time of her passing. Something I will always regret because I was upset over something so small.
I've forgiven myself and let go of my anger and regrets today. I put my faith where it belongs once again and I know she is with me and she knows I loved her. As I celebrate Mothers Day with my family I want to remind everyone out there no matter how you feel about your mom tell her you love her today. You may not get a "tomorrow" to say the things that are important. To all the moms Happy Mothers Day ?

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