レイチェル・ブレイセンのインスタグラム(yoga_girl) - 4月1日 02時16分
One day I’m going to look back at this time as the happiest time of my life. I try to deeply return to that knowing whenever my mind takes me elsewhere; when I get wrapped up in drama or issues or when things aren’t going my way. Lea Luna will never be this exact age again. Every day she grows and she is learning at such a high speed now it’s almost scary - I feel like I want to stop time. This morning she put herself to bed in her doll bed together with all her dolls (she has a non-gender conforming doll named Doris that my sister made her that she loves more than all her toys combined). She talks and talks and talks (although we understand very little) and she tells us stories and wants to help with the dishes and points at the letters on her bedroom door and says EA-UNA! We walk the dogs and she runs down the road now. She climbs up and down the stairs and tries to put on her own shoes and she has attitude and is so assertive but also so gentle and kind and when I reach my arms out she runs up and hugs me. Every day is a miracle. We are so happy, all the time. This is the happiest time of my life. I remind myself of that when I feel low or when things are challenging but then it hits me - what if it’s ALWAYS the time of our lives? I’m writing this book now about grief and even when I look back at that time, the worst years of my life, it’s colored in a bit of rosey shimmer because even though it was hard I also felt so much and feeling is beautiful. So it made me think: What if the time of our lives is always now? No matter what today brings. Bad news or good news. A slap in the face from the universe or a hug from your baby. Lows and highs. Pain and love. What if it’s all sacred. All beautiful. And what if at the end of our lives we are able to look back at it all and see how it was so perfectly orchestrated and sometimes hard but also so beautiful and god damn did we feel it all
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