レイチェル・ブレイセンのインスタグラム(yoga_girl) - 6月19日 23時48分

I’m so happy I don’t know what to do with myself. Seriously. I feel like a new person. Or not new. New-old. Like a new version of the old me.
Today is #ProjectAloneTime Day 6 - the last day - and I feel more like myself than I have since... I can’t even remember. I’m having so many epiphanies. When I was pregnant with Lea Luna we were actually thinking about naming her Epiphany (Dennis vetoed it) because pregnancy brought on so many realizations and every day I’d go “I’ve had an epiphany!”. I was learning how to grow into the role of Mother which required a complete shift of focus and energy and it was glorious and beautiful and an emotional earthquake all at once. I had to stretch my skin and rearrange my insides - quite literally - and in the process, I discovered a capacity to hold space and be in love that I never knew possible. Now, 15 months into motherhood, I’m learning again. But this time... It’s different. Instead of learning how to grow and expand, it’s a returning. Settling back into my own bones. Being a mother is so overwhelming! There is just so much of everything; love, fear, worry, joy, panic, pride, vulnerability... There is a too-muchness about motherhood that’s so intense and it swept me off my feet without me even noticing. I lost myself a little. And I’ve been working too hard. Worrying. Loving. Disappearing into her and the business and everything else but me.
And now... It took six days of nothing to remember my own everything. That I’m so full, even while alone. And that there is a space where I can love and hold space and grow and stretch but without ever spreading myself too thin. So many epiphanies. And they apply to everything, not just to motherhood. How can I show up for others and still unwaveringly be here for me? How can I be mom, wife, boss, friend, sister, daughter... And stand steady as Rachel, first? .
There is a way. And it involves being alone (once in a while). Scary as shit but beautiful as hell.

Picking up my husband and baby at the airport soon. I feel so at home. So grateful. And so ready to hold my family close
without ever letting go
of me.
#projectalonetime #thankyou #thankyou #thankyou

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