レイチェル・ブレイセンのインスタグラム(yoga_girl) - 8月18日 09時15分
I finished recording the book today and afterward I sat still in my chair for ten straight minutes, bawling my eyes out. The fact that the past years happened the way they did and somehow, despite it all, they brought me here... It’s remarkable. Nothing short of miraculous. Did you know that there was a moment around the end of 2014 when I didn’t want to live? I contemplated walking out into the ocean and not coming back. I didn’t. The dogs barked and I realized, if I died there would be no one there to take the dogs home. So I turned around and walked back to the car.
It’s five years later and I live in the same house and swim in the same sea but my life is so fucking beautiful I can hardly even grasp the version of me that was so sad she didn’t know how to put one foot in front of the other, so long ago.
Today we played tennis. My husband, my daughter and I. Or, we chased the balls, mostly. At some point in my life I took tennis lessons. I can’t remember when. I can only remember now. It’s part of why I wanted to write this book; I had to put everything on paper to make sure I never forget that once I went through hell and it was awful and it almost killed me but still, somehow, it had a purpose because... I’m here. Now. In this normal, mundane, every-day miracle that is now.
I don’t know why I’m writing this. I just know I’m so goddamn grateful to be here.
www.toloveandletgo.com
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mcbridget
Unfortunately I’ve had suicidal thoughts fairly often since I was about 12, I’m 25 now still kicking but I know there are others who have more intense suicidal urges like my friends who have attempted it. This doesn’t mean my pain is less than theirs or more than yours. Sometimes I just think it’d be easier if I had a rock bottom, instead of chronic underlying depression/anxiety/ etc.. I don’t disagree with anything you said, I couldn’t because it’s about your personal experience. In my experience sometimes it feels like I’ve come so far sometimes I feel like I’m in the hardest part yet. Hope everyone is feeling like they are worthy of a happy healthy life and finds ways to live it.
bridgman.helen
There was a time when i was in such a dark place that i started being reckless with my health and my safety because i couldn't see a way out of the darkness. Fast forward 10 years later and i am blessed to have two healthy children and (despite a blip a few months back when i lost my wonderful stepmum even the darkness started to creep back in) I'm glad i sought help from others back during the darkest days. I read your book Yoga Girl last year and it was exactly what my soul needed. I have started reading it again and am so looking forward to your daily podcasts. Thank you for sharing your good and bad days with us x
naysa22
@yoga_girl is your book available on Amazon Kindle? I need to read it for sure!!! I think you are amazing in more ways that I can even explain and I love how you put your real self out there with all of you and beautiful perfect little Luna and the dogs. I love it All!!! To many fake people living fake lives and you are all real. And oh love the hair!!! I also love Aruba been there and always want to go back. I would love to do one of your yoga retreats; you are a big highlight every day for me and my 2 daughters. Thank you for being who you are girl. I love you and all you bring bring to the world!!!
malloryann84
I almost took my own life several years ago but my dogs were what saved me as well. The last of the 2 just passed away the day before yesterday. It was heartbreaking for many reasons. However, I have a 7 month old baby who gives me purpose every day. I’ve made some terrible decisions in my life, and while I still have a long way to go, I’ve come so far. I needed this post. Thank you for being so wonderful ❤️
global_warrior_yoga
I identify with this a million times over.....painful moments that I didn’t want to get through or thought I couldn’t - and yet still here...a few years on - travelling the world, feeling so grateful that I kept going. Always a work in progress but always recognising how far I’ve come. Grateful for all that you share and the honesty you write with 💚
global_warrior_yoga
I identify with this a million times over.....painful moments that I didn’t want to get through or thought I couldn’t - and yet still here...a few years on - travelling the world, feeling so grateful that I kept going. Always a work in progress but always recognising how far I’ve come. Grateful for all that you share and the honesty you write with 💚
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