ベス・ロッデンさんのインスタグラム写真 - (ベス・ロッデンInstagram)「Last week I was working on a part of my book about Kyrgyzstan. It wasn't about the actual kidnapping, but an intense look at how I was afterwards, the tornado of emotions swirling in my head. As I was reading it, my hands and feet were on fire and I had a sour taste in my mouth. I was filled with panic and fear. This was how I used to feel about Kyrgyzstan before going to therapy. I wanted to erase it, shove it down, make it go away, stop the book project. I thought I had "dealt" with Kyrgyzstan a few years ago, why was it popping back up? The next day I tried not to think about it. I folded laundry, vacuumed, climbed. I tried to immerse myself in as much normalcy as I could. But I remembered that's how I used to act around hard and scary emotions. I buried them, tried to behave like I was better than them. Even though it fit the stereotypes I'd built up in my head, it never led to healing or strength. I told a friend (which I never would have done before, that would be vulnerable and weak) and she gently suggested I take care of myself. I knew that meant going back to therapy, having someone help me navigate these emotions. When I first started climbing, therapy was seen as taboo or a weakness in the climbing community. If you can't conquer your emotions, how will you conquer the climb? I know that's there's been a push for change in recent years with the @climbinggrieffund but I also believe we have a long way to go. In a community where death, grief and trauma are ever present, I would hope that talking about mental health would be as common as training beta or route information. I know everyone has their own path to healing, but I hope that by sharing my story therapy can start to be seen as a sign of strength not shame. I now realize healing from Kyrgyzstan isn't a linear path for me, emotions and memories come and go. Knowing that I can get to a stronger place by going to therapy has been one of the greatest gifts. My second appointment is tomorrow. // 📷 @austin_siadak // @outdoorresearch @metoliusclimbing @touchstoneclimbing @bluewaterropes @ospreypacks @skinourishment @clifbar @lasportivana #orambassador」1月31日 2時55分