Sarah Ramadanのインスタグラム(fightforgrowth) - 3月11日 06時49分

#transformationtuesday

There were times in my life where a future was simply inconceivable.

A time when I believed fueling my body would be catastrophic.
That nourishing my stature would be shattering.
I was convinced that the space I took up in this world was wrong and found comfort in the arms of ED.
For years, I believed sustaining my life was criminal, and would perpetuate ongoing suffrage

I was always either too much or not enough.
I feared exposure, I feared recovery, but most of all, I feared myself.
When my medical team asked me what I envisioned recovery to look like, I spoke of balance.

I spoke of a place where I wasn’t my own enemy, a place where food held no moral value, and a place where living was no longer influenced by deteriorating pursuits.
I spoke of a place where I’d exist alongside a greater purpose, disregarding the figures of frames that once constricted and tired my self-perception.

I spoke of a place that I wanted to call home

But recovery never worked, for I was building upon an imbalanced base. Beneath the surface, there was unresolved inner conflict, tension, and resistance.
I was settling for mediocrity, on the fence between recovery and relapse. I was too afraid to let go, so I kept holding onto the disorder and its familiarity.
It was this fear that kept me sick all these years.
And it was this fear I had to overcome to set myself free.
Last year, I made a promise to myself – to live with intention, and to accept all that is, while working towards everything I hoped to become.

Doubts were replaced by curiosity, challenges were seen as opportunities, and anorexia was negated by impassionedpursuits.
I learned, I thawed, and I found strength in places I was once to afraid look
Today, I can’t be contained.
And neither can you.
Don’t fear growth, fight for it. ??#prorecovery

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