Ilana Wilesのインスタグラム(mommyshorts) - 8月12日 09時12分

It’s Saturday night. If you are anything like me, you are home instead of out, so let’s play a game. Tell me a totally random story about yourself. Preferably, a story that you have never told anyone before. Here’s mine. I’ve been using the same face wash since forever. It comes in a pump and I use it in the shower. When I had a room mate, I always noticed that when I got to the end of the bottle, all of a sudden it was filled with water. So I always thought my room mate was secretly using my face wash and then filling it up with water so I wouldn’t notice. I thought this for YEARS. Then I got a new room mate and the same thing happened and I thought, HOLY SHIT. I can’t believe my new room mate steals my face wash too!!! I never said anything, because what kind of petty a-hole accuses a person of stealing face wash??? And I thought, I wouldn’t even care so much about someone sharing it. What really made me mad was the attempt to hide the stealing by filling it with water!!! But I kept silent. A few years later, I got my own apartment and Mike moved in. HOLY FUCK! Mike steals my face wash too!!! This was the man I was going to marry so I had to confront him. I had to know what kind of person I was signing up for. “Mike. Did you use my face wash and then fill it up with water so I wouldn’t notice?” He looked at me like I was absolutely insane. And in that moment, lots of thoughts flooded my brain. Like, what would be the likelihood that everyone I lived with for the past ten years stole my face wash and then filled it up with water?? It finally occurred to me that the pump action must pull the soap from the bottle until there was only watery stuff left. And nobody had ever touched my face wash at all. “Never mind,” I said quickly and hoped that Mike wouldn’t remember this moment tomorrow. Then I never mentioned it to anyone again. Until now. YOUR TURN!

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