マット・マクゴリーのインスタグラム(mattmcgorry) - 11月10日 05時45分

"Rising Strong: How the Ability to Reset Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead" by @BreneBrown
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Just recently, I was with a friend of mine grabbing some food during what we had determined would be a chill, early bedtime, night. We met a group of fun people who asked him to get drinks and then announced to the group that "we are going to get a drink!" Knowing that we had agreed to make it a relaxed night, I did not feel like that was the vibe we were about to be in. And knowing myself...I'm never really a "1 drink, hang out for an hour person." If I am out, then I am OUT. While my friend had asked me what I wanted to do, I tossed it back to him, to which he said he was down to go with the flow. I knew that we wanted to be up at a reasonable time the next morning, and in my mind, knew that this would likely prevent that from happening.
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The next morning, we got up late and I was tired from having a late (and fun!) night out. It made our original plans a bit harder. It wasn't until maybe two days later, that I realized I was holding on to some anger and resentment about how things went down. Using a tool from the book, I said "this is the story that I'm making up in my head," and told him that in the moment of deciding to go out, I felt like he didn't really care what I wanted to do. And my own fear of coming off as "needy" or "having too many needs" prevented me from being fully expressed about what I wanted, or asking for a minute to discuss our plans more fully. A lifetime of conditioning as a man has told me that having "too many needs" is the opposite of what men are supposed to be. We are "supposed to be" self-sufficient and stoic, not vulnerable.
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When I fully realized what was happening in me, I was able to express to him the shame I felt in having a need to "talk it out," not feeling able to express my needs, and the additional shame of holding onto resentment when it came to one of my best friends. Our conversation blossomed, and as with most moments where radical vulnerability is shared, it made us even closer, deepening our connection as friends. (Cont in comments)
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