Ashley Jamesさんのインスタグラム写真 - (Ashley JamesInstagram)「Ok, be honest, how many times have you either said the following to someone or had someone say it you: "Jeez, you're so sensitive" "Lol are you actually upset? Learn to take a joke'. I know I've been guilty of these comments in the past, & I've had them thrown at me. And guess what? This is gaslighting. Everyone's emotions responses and reactions are valid. I wanted to talk about this because I touched on it in my stories yesterday and I think it's such an empowering topic. It's something I've really benefitted from learning about, and it also comes up a lot in my coaching. Often, we can say or do something to someone with really good intentions, yet we offend or upset them instead. So, a relevant example from what I've talked about this week is unsolicited advice. The person giving the advice is most likely doing it from a good place, perhaps it's something they wish they knew and wanted to share, but it can cause the person receiving the advice stress or anxiety. They receive it negatively even though the intention behind it was positive. So when they react badly, it's very easy to get defensive. You didn't do anything WRONG so why should you apologise? They need to stop being sensitive. But here's the thing, it's not about being right or wrong. Neither of you are necessarily wrong: you just have different perspectives. We all process information differently through our emotions and internal filters. These filters are based on our beliefs, values, decisions, and experiences... So the way I process information is different to you and so on. So back to the unsolicited advice as the example. If someone tells you that your advice is unhelpful, and you respond defensively, retorting that you're just being nice and telling them they're being too sensitive... Then you're not only disrespecting someone's boundaries, but you're also gaslighting them by trying to invalidate their emotions. This is why it's so important to be brave enough to communicate your boundaries, and respect other people's. If someone continues to gaslight you, then recognise it for what it is: a toxic relationship. You're not too sensitive, they're just a di*khead. 😉 #boundaries」11月21日 3時48分