レイチェル・ブレイセンのインスタグラム(yoga_girl) - 2月21日 01時50分

I wish I had an inspirational quote or some great wisdom to share here but I don’t. Not being able to breathe or move or practice or do any of the things that make me feel at home in my body is slowly pulling me into what feels like a pretty dark place. Pneumonia sucks and the uncertainty of it makes it worse; I can’t even walk across a room without losing my breath so how long until I can move my body again? Weeks? Months?

I woke up this morning with a gasp - it literally feels like I have half a lung - and even the quiet things that normally help keep me grounded like meditation and tea and journaling feel impossible. I feel no inspiration. No motivation. No pull toward anything that resembles a healing practice at all. And worse; I feel small. Like I’m not contributing to anything. Like I don’t matter.

I wanted a spiritual practice but decided not to force it. Made some tea (not the ceremonial kind; just ginger in a cup) and brought it to the garden and just sat there. I looked at the bees and said hi to the plants and weeded the cucumbers and watered the seedlings and it wasn’t a magical fix for everything that hurts but tending to something, even the smallest thing, made me feel less anxious. More at home.

I felt at home because I was reminded that no matter how small I feel at times, I’m needed here. The bees need me! The plants, too. My presence in the garden, even for just a few minutes a day, make a world of difference for the tiny eco system of life outside my doorstep.

So I guess that’s my wisdom today. When we feel purposeless, even the smallest act of service reminds us that we have a place in this world. And yes, service is activism and donations and petitions and volunteering but it is also the small acts of service we provide for our families and homes every day.

So tend to the garden.
Feed the children.
Wipe the countertops.
Walk the dogs.

Teach the class/drive the bus/wait the tables/do the paperwork/man the desk/make the art.

Chop the wood.
Carry the water.

When you feel small, return to one small act of service and let it remind you that all of existence needs you right here, doing exactly this. Just the way you are.
🐝

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