レイチェル・ブレイセンのインスタグラム(yoga_girl) - 7月22日 00時45分

This is the fifth death in Leas life in less than a year. Our family has lost four dogs (first my brothers dog passed, then Laika, then my mothers dog, and now Quila) and in April her precious aunt passed away, only 21 years old.

We talk about death a lot. We did before this year took so much away. She’s always known my best friend died before she was born - she went through a phase where she wanted to hear her voice, and drew tons of pictures of her, and asked about more details of her passing than I felt comfortable to share. “Are there any pictures of the car? How did it crash? What happened inside?”. She wanted to understand how death happens, especially to someone so young. When her auntie got sick she asked about how cancer works; how it begins and why we couldn’t make it stop. When she had to have her leg amputated the first thing she said was “show me your knee!” and “can I see a video of the surgery?” and “your pants are so cool now!” - there is no filter between her curiosity and the questions she asks, even around death. It’s comforting in a way, having a 6-year old in the room who speaks every thought out loud. There is need to pretend, or put on a brave face. What is just is.

She calls death “the other side” and is convinced it’s beautiful and that when you go there everyone you’ve ever known who has passed away will be there waiting for you. She knows I have two grandmothers there, and my grandfather, and my stepdad, and that her dad has friends and loved ones there, too. And her auntie. And the dogs. So many dogs.

When Quila died this week she went outside to pick some flowers to place on her body. This was that moment.

For her, death is not scary or foreign; its close to home and in the every day. It’s her mom crying on the floor. It’s the baby needing his diaper changed. It’s her dad and the vet having a cup of coffee in the kitchen. It’s walking barefoot into the garden to pick flowers for her dog, and thinking carefully about how to place them on her still body.
It’s saying goodbye, and choosing an urn, and carrying on.

It’s just as much a beginning as it is the end. I wish we all had just a fraction of her faith💔🥺

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