Ashley Jamesさんのインスタグラム写真 - (Ashley JamesInstagram)「Be honest, how many of you ignore red flags? 🚩 This week, during my dating dilemmas, someone messaged me to say that she only attracts emotionally unavailable people and she doesn't know why because 'they don't display the typical red flags'. Surely being emotionally unavailable is the BIGGEST red flag there can be? Anyway, it made me want to open the conversation up around them. Firstly, I feel her so hard because this was me for a good few years. Being loved bombed, and then obsessing over what had changed, what I did wrong, and then over-analysing their problems and wanting to help 'fix' them so they'd love me back. I'd already let my imagination picture my life with this person, so I needed to mould them to fit into my narrative. Who relates? But until we stop ignoring red flags, the cycle will continue. We're creatures of habit, even if that habit is bad for us. Red flags might be things you notice in their behaviour, but also in our own. We need to have a list of non-negotiables so we save ourselves from the torture of unrequited love, embarrassing late night drunk texts, and potentially being gaslighted. All of these have such a knock-on effect to our self esteem. I wanted to put together a list of red flags as food for thought... Obviously we are all so different in our values, our triggers... so red flags can vary, but I just want to highlight that red flags aren't materialistic or visual deal breakers.. they're more behaviourial and down to someone's values. It's also really important to ALWAYS pay attention to red flags. It doesn't matter if it's been 3 months, or that they've told you that they've never felt like this before... If someone is emotionally unavailable, then SHOW THAT RED FLAG A WHITE FLAG AND WALK AWAY. 🏳️ We have to love ourselves first. What are your biggest dating red flags? Comment below so that others can see and it can help them. ⛳ #redflags」11月25日 5時48分