Nicole Mejiaさんのインスタグラム写真 - (Nicole MejiaInstagram)「On Wednesday (1/6), a rage erupted out of my system in a way that I had never experienced before. I didn’t even know I was capable of getting to that point—of seeing red. What immediately followed was a deep and painful grief that ripped through my energetic body. I became overtaken with this desire to run away. I woke Thursday morning with that pulsing wound still festering. My insides ached. I felt a level of unworthiness and self-loathing that I hadn’t felt in a long time. I’m grateful to the friends and family who reached out intuitively (and after my cryptic texts) within that 24 hour period. I love the idea of being entirely emotionally self-sufficient, but let’s be real. It’s scary to be seen in those places. But sometimes, when we begin to spiral in our own shit, we need a hand to pull us onto solid ground. Ya feel me? 💩 Anyways, back to my story. I had a last minute podcast recording (@nocovercharge episode 4), which I somehow pulled myself together for. During the conversation, something clicked or shifted in me. I felt in flow. I felt deeply connected to my feminine energy and what I felt, thought, and needed in that moment. I felt like me. After teaching a badass lower body workout with my JUMP sisters (which I’m still sore from), I began to experience an outpouring of creative truth and energy that lasted until I put myself to bed around 1:30am. At first, I was worried that it would be short lived, but I’m grateful to still feel the energy, ready to flow when I am able to give it space. I don’t recall ever having an experience like this but it feels like I repaired of broke some type of cycle. (Omg isn’t it kind of crazy that both words could work there? 🤔) I almost don’t want to completely understand it either. I’m just sort of reveling in it’s magic. ✨ What I do know is that the release of rage forced me to give myself emotional space. I had been holding it for so many people and wasn’t taking up any emotional space myself. My feminine forced me to feel. I know that sustaining this flow will require me to continue asking myself, “what do you need?” And then honoring it. 🦋 — Has anything like this ever happened to you?」1月11日 13時20分